Every December the approach of the new year makes people reflect and focus on new goals. I have many things I want to accomplish, just look at my past posts for everything I want to change about myself and my life.
This new year we have some interesting changes coming. Changes I am sure will cause a few challenges. The in-laws are moving to town. Literally, right behind us....as in we can see there town house from our kitchen window. Crazy? Yes, I might be. MIL wants to watch X full time. That will be a significant reduction in our daycare expenses, but at what cost? I am currently taking a "we will see" approach to all of this.
As for myself I have so much I want to accomplish. Small picture, this week I would like to:
1) do all laundry
2) find the kitchen table
3)soak/ wash diapers
4)Re-arrange living room. Want something a little different
5) come up with a budget for 2010
6) write thank you notes for Christmas gifts
7) make cake balls for family gathering
8) make veggie pizza for family gathering
9) make homemade mac n' cheese for guests this week
10) Put away X's toys, divide for Mil's place
11) Build X's play kitchen
12) Arrange and secure furniture to the wall in X's bedroom
13) Put away Christmas decorations
14) dust
15) paint nails
Yes, it is an ambitious list. I hope to keep track of all that i accomplish.
As for the year, my goals are understandably larger. The biggest of which is # 1.
1) Run a 5k before I am 29 years old - I am tired of being fat. I hate running, detest it and sweating but I want to know if it is possible to do it so we shall see.
2) Be more put together. - I am still tired of my frumpy look. the hair cut helped some. My goal for January is to wear different earrings everyday.
3) To do housework every day for at least 15 minutes
4) To sleep more- I don't need to watch 10 pm TV shows I need sleep
5) To spend more time with B - we need to communicate better, work toward common goals and take joy in each other and take the time to appreciate what each of us have to offer.
6) To be more focused and diligent at work - I think it will make me feel better about myself and dread work less
7) To explore faith - be it attending church or reading books that make me think
I hope to post much more regularly, so I can keep myself accountable.
10.28.2009
Update - 2 busy weekends, not as much accomplished as I would like, but we had some lovely weather and the Grandparents had quick visits last week. Still lacking motivation, then I get down on myself for not being MORE motivated!
So here is what I have done
1) Dust - house is very dusty...
2) Vacuum - and I mean really nook and cranny vacuum
3) Try on everything in closet, take pictures of out fits so I can remember what I have to wear
4) clean office
5) wash sheets
6) find pretty fabric and cover chair in bedroom
7) hang letters and pictures in X's room
8) pack away car seat and exersaucer
9) look in shed for fall wreath and grey sweater coat
10) make homemade bread
11) Clean out hall closet so it can be use full
12) pull weights out of shed
13) Can we rearrange office in a better way?
14) clean car
15) buy touch up paint for car's scratch, repair
16) clean kitchen table off
17) organize kitchen drawers
18) pack up baby bottles
19) clean bathroom cabinets
20) go through magazines
21) art display of some type for X's "artwork"
22) make baked potatoes--sounds really good!
So 7.5 out of 22. I could do better. We are debating going home this weekend. A trip I dread, we just try and cram SO much into 36 hours that it is not relaxing and leaves me so stressed out and feeling behind for the start of the work week. On top of all that the time changes this weekend and adjusting X's schedule has not been going so well. Monday night he did great and was happy and playing until nearly 7:30 and in bed by 7:40. Last night he fell asleep while nursing at 7. I suppose all we can do is try our best and grin and bear it next week when he is trying to fall asleep at 6.
So here is what I have done
1) Dust - house is very dusty...
2) Vacuum - and I mean really nook and cranny vacuum
3) Try on everything in closet, take pictures of out fits so I can remember what I have to wear
4) clean office
5) wash sheets
6) find pretty fabric and cover chair in bedroom
7) hang letters and pictures in X's room
8) pack away car seat and exersaucer
9) look in shed for fall wreath and grey sweater coat
10) make homemade bread
11) Clean out hall closet so it can be use full
12) pull weights out of shed
13) Can we rearrange office in a better way?
14) clean car
15) buy touch up paint for car's scratch, repair
16) clean kitchen table off
17) organize kitchen drawers
18) pack up baby bottles
19) clean bathroom cabinets
20) go through magazines
21) art display of some type for X's "artwork"
22) make baked potatoes--sounds really good!
So 7.5 out of 22. I could do better. We are debating going home this weekend. A trip I dread, we just try and cram SO much into 36 hours that it is not relaxing and leaves me so stressed out and feeling behind for the start of the work week. On top of all that the time changes this weekend and adjusting X's schedule has not been going so well. Monday night he did great and was happy and playing until nearly 7:30 and in bed by 7:40. Last night he fell asleep while nursing at 7. I suppose all we can do is try our best and grin and bear it next week when he is trying to fall asleep at 6.
10.16.2009
100 miles a minute.
My brain works at 100 miles a minute, minimum. I can't seem to slow it down. I have SO many things I want to try, read, learn. Lack of focus and follow through are my biggest problems.
This week as been a major failure in the no eating out and saving money areas. I suppose we will try again next week. There has been a lot of stress from some marital discord as well as some medical tests, that the result could have a profound impact on all of our lives. Profound as in serious lifestyle change, nothing life threatening.
It's Friday. The weekend is full of potential, unfortunately more often than not our weekends have been full of illness. Seriously 5 out of the last 11....those are pretty rotten odds. Last night X was a puke-tastic mess, in the car seat....of course! So B and I are just praying we don't get sick as well. There has been much handwashing and dousing in hand sanitizer.
So what is on my endless list of things to accomplish (in order as they pop into my head):
1) Dust - house is very dusty...
2) Vaccum - and I mean really nook and cranny vaccum
3) Try on everything in closet, take pictures of out fits so I can remeber what I have to wear
4) clean office
5) wash sheets
6) find pretty fabric and cover chair in bedroom
7) hang letters and pictures in X's room
8) pack away car seat and exersaucer
9) look in shed for fall wreath and grey sweater coat
10) make homemade bread
11) Clean out hall closet so it can be use full
12) pull weights out of shed
13) Can we rearrange office in a better way?
14) clean car
15) buy touch up paint for car's scratch, repair
16) clean kitchen table off
17) organize kitchen drawers
18) pack up baby bottles
19) clean bathroom cabinents
20) go through magazines
21) art display of some type for X's "artwork"
22) make baked potatoes--sounds really good!
This week as been a major failure in the no eating out and saving money areas. I suppose we will try again next week. There has been a lot of stress from some marital discord as well as some medical tests, that the result could have a profound impact on all of our lives. Profound as in serious lifestyle change, nothing life threatening.
It's Friday. The weekend is full of potential, unfortunately more often than not our weekends have been full of illness. Seriously 5 out of the last 11....those are pretty rotten odds. Last night X was a puke-tastic mess, in the car seat....of course! So B and I are just praying we don't get sick as well. There has been much handwashing and dousing in hand sanitizer.
So what is on my endless list of things to accomplish (in order as they pop into my head):
1) Dust - house is very dusty...
2) Vaccum - and I mean really nook and cranny vaccum
3) Try on everything in closet, take pictures of out fits so I can remeber what I have to wear
4) clean office
5) wash sheets
6) find pretty fabric and cover chair in bedroom
7) hang letters and pictures in X's room
8) pack away car seat and exersaucer
9) look in shed for fall wreath and grey sweater coat
10) make homemade bread
11) Clean out hall closet so it can be use full
12) pull weights out of shed
13) Can we rearrange office in a better way?
14) clean car
15) buy touch up paint for car's scratch, repair
16) clean kitchen table off
17) organize kitchen drawers
18) pack up baby bottles
19) clean bathroom cabinents
20) go through magazines
21) art display of some type for X's "artwork"
22) make baked potatoes--sounds really good!
10.08.2009
Where I am and where I am going.
I wanted to check in on how I am doing on those goals I had in August.
1) I want to be organized and put together. Both at home and work. Currently the house is a disaster, my desk at work is a mess and I look like a 45 year old woman, and I am not quite 28.
I feel much more put together lately. I bought some new clothing, cut my hair very short....it is really cute, and spent some money on some skin care stuff that will hopefully clear my icky skin up. I am trying to be more organized by planning ahead. I have check lists, the menu and a list of goals online as well as many things on my iPod. I am physically feeling better. After September, even after a stomach bug and mastitis I have bounced back quicker than I would have earlier in the year. I am also hopping the mega doses of vitamin D I am taking will help my energy continue to return
2) I want to be able to focus on what I am doing not worrying about every other task in my head. Sitting and writing this is hard because I have 10 other ideas of things I want to do.
I still need to be more mindful as I do things. I need to remember to write the random thoughts down and process them later
3) I want to improve myself. Not only be more put together and look better, but to put time into what I enjoy. I would like to explore my faith/ beliefs, work on scrapbooks, get back into cooking, and maybe find some type of exercise that makes me have more energy
In the last 3 weekends I spent 2 cooking. I have not cooked so much in a very long time. It is satisfying to think my freezer is full of yummy things for winter nights. Something about the fall weather encourages me to cook. We joined a gym, and hopefully I get up the nerve to go tonight. I also finally got off the waiting list and into a playgroup that seems very active. I have only been to one event, but I am really trying to get out of myself and meet new people.
4) I want to save more, spend less and not feel deprived. I am trying very hard to reduce our frivolous spending so we can pay off bills and live the life we want. I really need to sit down with B and discuss this with him.
B and I have discussed finances, but we have had difficulty putting what we discussed into actions. We are going to try cutting back on groceries and unnecessary spending. We have a few things looming though. The University forgot to withhold city taxes on B for the last few year so they are coming out of our check. The payroll tax break may end up hurting us in the long run, we may owe as much as $1000 on our taxes this year.
5) I want to be more on the ball at work. I lack focus and tend to get side tracked. Luckily due to some situations at work, things are slow. I feel like I am just sliding by. Needing to find a new job may still be a very real possibility in the next year. I have slacked since getting pregnant. Perhaps feeling accomplished at work will give me the energy I need to stay motivated in the evenings.
The desk is sort of clear. My motivation is still lacking, in part because work is this very weird limbo place right now. I am trying to accomplish 3 things a day, so far no luck.
6) B and I need to find time for each other.
This is a must. We really haven't spent a lot of time together. I was a little hurt last weekend. My mom was visiting and offered to watch X while we went out, B never seemed interested in going out with me unless I wanted to watch a horribly gory and bloody movie. We need to get a baby sitter sometime, but that is another expense I don't want to deal with right now.
1) I want to be organized and put together. Both at home and work. Currently the house is a disaster, my desk at work is a mess and I look like a 45 year old woman, and I am not quite 28.
I feel much more put together lately. I bought some new clothing, cut my hair very short....it is really cute, and spent some money on some skin care stuff that will hopefully clear my icky skin up. I am trying to be more organized by planning ahead. I have check lists, the menu and a list of goals online as well as many things on my iPod. I am physically feeling better. After September, even after a stomach bug and mastitis I have bounced back quicker than I would have earlier in the year. I am also hopping the mega doses of vitamin D I am taking will help my energy continue to return
2) I want to be able to focus on what I am doing not worrying about every other task in my head. Sitting and writing this is hard because I have 10 other ideas of things I want to do.
I still need to be more mindful as I do things. I need to remember to write the random thoughts down and process them later
3) I want to improve myself. Not only be more put together and look better, but to put time into what I enjoy. I would like to explore my faith/ beliefs, work on scrapbooks, get back into cooking, and maybe find some type of exercise that makes me have more energy
In the last 3 weekends I spent 2 cooking. I have not cooked so much in a very long time. It is satisfying to think my freezer is full of yummy things for winter nights. Something about the fall weather encourages me to cook. We joined a gym, and hopefully I get up the nerve to go tonight. I also finally got off the waiting list and into a playgroup that seems very active. I have only been to one event, but I am really trying to get out of myself and meet new people.
4) I want to save more, spend less and not feel deprived. I am trying very hard to reduce our frivolous spending so we can pay off bills and live the life we want. I really need to sit down with B and discuss this with him.
B and I have discussed finances, but we have had difficulty putting what we discussed into actions. We are going to try cutting back on groceries and unnecessary spending. We have a few things looming though. The University forgot to withhold city taxes on B for the last few year so they are coming out of our check. The payroll tax break may end up hurting us in the long run, we may owe as much as $1000 on our taxes this year.
5) I want to be more on the ball at work. I lack focus and tend to get side tracked. Luckily due to some situations at work, things are slow. I feel like I am just sliding by. Needing to find a new job may still be a very real possibility in the next year. I have slacked since getting pregnant. Perhaps feeling accomplished at work will give me the energy I need to stay motivated in the evenings.
The desk is sort of clear. My motivation is still lacking, in part because work is this very weird limbo place right now. I am trying to accomplish 3 things a day, so far no luck.
6) B and I need to find time for each other.
This is a must. We really haven't spent a lot of time together. I was a little hurt last weekend. My mom was visiting and offered to watch X while we went out, B never seemed interested in going out with me unless I wanted to watch a horribly gory and bloody movie. We need to get a baby sitter sometime, but that is another expense I don't want to deal with right now.
10.04.2009
A good weekend.
It has been such a beautiful weekend. The weather feels like fall, cool and crisp. We went to the farmers market on Saturday, then shopping. I bought X some clothes for fall.
Today I have accomplished SO much. I made chicken - 2 meals worth in the freezer and chicken salad, 2 meals worth of meatballs, a GIANT pot of chili, meat for stuffed peppers tomorrow, apple pie and buffalo chicken dip. It is nice feeling so productive.
Hopefully I can carry this energy with me into tomorrow. Last week I discovered I have a vitamin D deficiency, which can cause fatigue.
Today I have accomplished SO much. I made chicken - 2 meals worth in the freezer and chicken salad, 2 meals worth of meatballs, a GIANT pot of chili, meat for stuffed peppers tomorrow, apple pie and buffalo chicken dip. It is nice feeling so productive.
Hopefully I can carry this energy with me into tomorrow. Last week I discovered I have a vitamin D deficiency, which can cause fatigue.
9.24.2009
Frustration
Why can't things that I need to get done be done. Why can't B do what needs to be done. I spent all day Saturday cooking lots of food to freeze and make life easier. I got sick on Sunday and he took care of X. It is Wednesday now and the kitchen is still FILTHY. IT SMELLS. And honestly I feel like it should not be my responsibility. B is supposed to do dishes. I am so upset about it I am still awake at 1:30 am. I have to get up for work in 4 hours. My sister is coming on Friday. Every night I expect him to help around the house he is either so absorbed in the TV I cant even get him to answer a question or he falls asleep and is so out of it I can not get him to wake up.
I know he does a lot. He gets up and gets things going in the AM. He makes our lunches and most of the time gets the wee one ready for the day. He does the yard work, but really it is about once every 3 weeks. I pay the bills, plan the budget, make a menu, grocery shop, wash diapers. I am the only one that comes up with and chops up all of X's food.
I know he does a lot. He gets up and gets things going in the AM. He makes our lunches and most of the time gets the wee one ready for the day. He does the yard work, but really it is about once every 3 weeks. I pay the bills, plan the budget, make a menu, grocery shop, wash diapers. I am the only one that comes up with and chops up all of X's food.
9.16.2009
You win some you lose some.
Well it has been a week and what progress have I made so far?
1) I want to be organized and put together. Both at home and work. Currently the house is a disaster, my desk at work is a mess and I look like a 45 year old woman, and I am not quite 28.
I bought some new clothes this weekend, some new potions for my skin. I put earrings in and have been wearing some lip gloss on in the morning. I feel better about myself....just a few changes. I am also getting my hair cut for the first time in 2 years tomorrow.
2) I want to be able to focus on what I am doing not worrying about every other task in my head. Sitting and writing this is hard because I have 10 other ideas of things I want to do.
B and I have a spreadsheet on google documents with our 3 goals for the day at both home and work and our goal for the week. The first day it kept me focused, yesterday not so much and today it remains to be seen. I like the idea though, to only have a few things to worry with instead of all the clutter in my head.
3) I want to improve myself. Not only be more put together and look better, but to put time into what I enjoy. I would like to explore my faith/ beliefs, work on scrapbooks, get back into cooking, and maybe find some type of exercise that makes me have more energy
See #1 I want to get the house picked up and start doing yoga again. I am debating going to a knitting group at church.
4) I want to save more, spend less and not feel deprived. I am trying very hard to reduce our frivolous spending so we can pay off bills and live the life we want. I really need to sit down with B and discuss this with him.
Really need to work on this. Currently I am the only voice of reason when it comes to spending money, and I am easily swayed by B. I need to sit down and discuss our goals, I keep putting it off because B tends to get defensive. This is imperative it happens; we have car repairs and possibly owe taxes this year.
5) I want to be more on the ball at work. I lack focus and tend to get side tracked. Luckily due to some situations at work, things are slow. I feel like I am just sliding by. Needing to find a new job may still be a very real possibility in the next year. I have slacked since getting pregnant. Perhaps feeling accomplished at work will give me the energy I need to stay motivated in the evenings.
#1 addresses this
6) B and I need to find time for each other. He has been very affectionate and sweet lately. It has been nice. I still find myself trying to find reasons to be angry with him. That is not good.
We are back in roommate mode. It is not fun. I miss B. He is just a grouch, but he tends to get this way when the seasons change. Something needs to change, but I don't even know where to begin.
1) I want to be organized and put together. Both at home and work. Currently the house is a disaster, my desk at work is a mess and I look like a 45 year old woman, and I am not quite 28.
I bought some new clothes this weekend, some new potions for my skin. I put earrings in and have been wearing some lip gloss on in the morning. I feel better about myself....just a few changes. I am also getting my hair cut for the first time in 2 years tomorrow.
2) I want to be able to focus on what I am doing not worrying about every other task in my head. Sitting and writing this is hard because I have 10 other ideas of things I want to do.
B and I have a spreadsheet on google documents with our 3 goals for the day at both home and work and our goal for the week. The first day it kept me focused, yesterday not so much and today it remains to be seen. I like the idea though, to only have a few things to worry with instead of all the clutter in my head.
3) I want to improve myself. Not only be more put together and look better, but to put time into what I enjoy. I would like to explore my faith/ beliefs, work on scrapbooks, get back into cooking, and maybe find some type of exercise that makes me have more energy
See #1 I want to get the house picked up and start doing yoga again. I am debating going to a knitting group at church.
4) I want to save more, spend less and not feel deprived. I am trying very hard to reduce our frivolous spending so we can pay off bills and live the life we want. I really need to sit down with B and discuss this with him.
Really need to work on this. Currently I am the only voice of reason when it comes to spending money, and I am easily swayed by B. I need to sit down and discuss our goals, I keep putting it off because B tends to get defensive. This is imperative it happens; we have car repairs and possibly owe taxes this year.
5) I want to be more on the ball at work. I lack focus and tend to get side tracked. Luckily due to some situations at work, things are slow. I feel like I am just sliding by. Needing to find a new job may still be a very real possibility in the next year. I have slacked since getting pregnant. Perhaps feeling accomplished at work will give me the energy I need to stay motivated in the evenings.
#1 addresses this
6) B and I need to find time for each other. He has been very affectionate and sweet lately. It has been nice. I still find myself trying to find reasons to be angry with him. That is not good.
We are back in roommate mode. It is not fun. I miss B. He is just a grouch, but he tends to get this way when the seasons change. Something needs to change, but I don't even know where to begin.
9.10.2009
And here I go again!
August flew by in a swirl of busyness and sickness. X had an ear infection and ended up at home for 4 days. Then I was sick for over a week. All of my goals and plans never came to fruition. I did manage to have a yard sale, B ran his first race, and X's birthday was a success. Then we went on vacation last weekend. We have not had a weekend free since the beginning of August. My little sister J is having freshman roommate drama so she is coming to stay this weekend.
Maybe I am going about this all the wrong way, expecting everything at once. Though everything goes through my head at once. What is that I hope to achieve? How long until I reach that goal? What do I need to do to get there? There are SO many things where do I begin?
1) I want to be organized and put together. Both at home and work. Currently the house is a disaster, my desk at work is a mess and I look like a 45 year old woman, and I am not quite 28.
2) I want to be able to focus on what I am doing not worrying about every other task in my head. Sitting and writing this is hard because I have 10 other ideas of things I want to do.
3) I want to improve myself. Not only be more put together and look better, but to put time into what I enjoy. I would like to explore my faith/ beliefs, work on scrapbooks, get back into cooking, and maybe find some type of exercise that makes me have more energy
4) I want to save more, spend less and not feel deprived. I am trying very hard to reduce our frivolous spending so we can pay off bills and live the life we want. I really need to sit down with B and discuss this with him.
5) I want to be more on the ball at work. I lack focus and tend to get side tracked. Luckily due to some situations at work, things are slow. I feel like I am just sliding by. Needing to find a new job may still be a very real possibility in the next year. I have slacked since getting pregnant. Perhaps feeling accomplished at work will give me the energy I need to stay motivated in the evenings.
6) B and I need to find time for each other. He has been very affectionate and sweet lately. It has been nice. I still find myself trying to find reasons to be angry with him. That is not good.
There are so many other things, but this is probably more than enough to start with.
I have 2 choices. Things can stay the same or they can change. I am giving myself until Christmas. That is a little over 100 days. So how do I begin? I tend to like to jump in head first, but we can see how well that works. Though baby steps I see no progress and get frustrated and give up.
Maybe I am going about this all the wrong way, expecting everything at once. Though everything goes through my head at once. What is that I hope to achieve? How long until I reach that goal? What do I need to do to get there? There are SO many things where do I begin?
1) I want to be organized and put together. Both at home and work. Currently the house is a disaster, my desk at work is a mess and I look like a 45 year old woman, and I am not quite 28.
2) I want to be able to focus on what I am doing not worrying about every other task in my head. Sitting and writing this is hard because I have 10 other ideas of things I want to do.
3) I want to improve myself. Not only be more put together and look better, but to put time into what I enjoy. I would like to explore my faith/ beliefs, work on scrapbooks, get back into cooking, and maybe find some type of exercise that makes me have more energy
4) I want to save more, spend less and not feel deprived. I am trying very hard to reduce our frivolous spending so we can pay off bills and live the life we want. I really need to sit down with B and discuss this with him.
5) I want to be more on the ball at work. I lack focus and tend to get side tracked. Luckily due to some situations at work, things are slow. I feel like I am just sliding by. Needing to find a new job may still be a very real possibility in the next year. I have slacked since getting pregnant. Perhaps feeling accomplished at work will give me the energy I need to stay motivated in the evenings.
6) B and I need to find time for each other. He has been very affectionate and sweet lately. It has been nice. I still find myself trying to find reasons to be angry with him. That is not good.
There are so many other things, but this is probably more than enough to start with.
I have 2 choices. Things can stay the same or they can change. I am giving myself until Christmas. That is a little over 100 days. So how do I begin? I tend to like to jump in head first, but we can see how well that works. Though baby steps I see no progress and get frustrated and give up.
8.21.2009
Memories from a year ago...
As it gets closer to X's birthday I keep thinking about last year. At this point I was SO pregnant, uncomfortable, swollen and tired. I was very impatient. I had my Doctors appointment and found I was dilated to 4cm and 75-80% effaced. It seemed like anytime the baby could be born. The week before my due date was the hardest at work because people kept acting surprised that I was still there and pregnant. I remember the sweet old couple in the apartment next to us ran into us on Sunday and it was the first time she realized I was expecting. Mrs. F mentioned it, then seemed very surprised when I told her I was due in 3 days!
The 25th was a Monday and I had given up hope that he would be born without an induction. I never let myself hope he would be born before Friday. So when my water broke that night I was a little surprised.
Remembering all of this makes me want another baby SO much. The excitement and joy of it all. But now I know what labor is like, there is so much less unknown so maybe it would be less stressful in that regard. Honestly if we had the money for daycare I would definitely be considering getting pregnant again. Which seems insane since I am so tired all of the time and cant seem to get my life together with one kid. But things don't feel complete. I really want another baby and I really wish I could have one sooner than later
The 25th was a Monday and I had given up hope that he would be born without an induction. I never let myself hope he would be born before Friday. So when my water broke that night I was a little surprised.
Remembering all of this makes me want another baby SO much. The excitement and joy of it all. But now I know what labor is like, there is so much less unknown so maybe it would be less stressful in that regard. Honestly if we had the money for daycare I would definitely be considering getting pregnant again. Which seems insane since I am so tired all of the time and cant seem to get my life together with one kid. But things don't feel complete. I really want another baby and I really wish I could have one sooner than later
8.02.2009
August goals.
It seems August is already here. I have not managed to make much progress in accomplishing all I set out for myself in July. X was baptized last weekend. I did manage to pull of a very nice meal for our families who came to mass. I made chicken tortilla soup in the crock pot, salad and had berries with angel food cake for dessert. I need to focus more on my small accomplishments instead of everything I should be doing. I have the tendency to flit from one idea or task to the next. It makes it very difficult to focus.
I think that will be my goal for the next week to be more mindful of what I am doing and focus on the task at hand. I am going to do one task a day around the house....simple things that need to be done
Monday - dust
Tuesday - mop / vacuum
Wednesday - clean bathroom
Thursday - clean fridge
Friday - change sheets
I need to regain my focus at work. I have enough work to do for months, but I manage to procrastinate and I could be more productive. I should have the lab in better order, and there I go worrying about everything I should do. I can't help it. It makes sense if the lab was cleaner then I wouldn't have to clean things before I start a project. Really I need to pick the place up. Tomorrow at work I am going to try and stay fully focused on work, which is SO hard for me. I have brains to slice. I am going to do that, prepare some slides and spend at least 1 hour picking up the lab.
I can do this I have 8 hours at work and at least 3 baby free hours in the evening. I should be able to accomplish SO much. I am going to try my hardest to make the most of it!
I think that will be my goal for the next week to be more mindful of what I am doing and focus on the task at hand. I am going to do one task a day around the house....simple things that need to be done
Monday - dust
Tuesday - mop / vacuum
Wednesday - clean bathroom
Thursday - clean fridge
Friday - change sheets
I need to regain my focus at work. I have enough work to do for months, but I manage to procrastinate and I could be more productive. I should have the lab in better order, and there I go worrying about everything I should do. I can't help it. It makes sense if the lab was cleaner then I wouldn't have to clean things before I start a project. Really I need to pick the place up. Tomorrow at work I am going to try and stay fully focused on work, which is SO hard for me. I have brains to slice. I am going to do that, prepare some slides and spend at least 1 hour picking up the lab.
I can do this I have 8 hours at work and at least 3 baby free hours in the evening. I should be able to accomplish SO much. I am going to try my hardest to make the most of it!
7.20.2009
So here we are July is winding down. Things with work are better and I am probably not going to have to look for a job right now.
I am not much closer to any of my goals than I was this time a month ago. I have been trying to stretch myself a little more with mixed results. Friday I went to a scrapbooking crop and I was SO nervous to be somewhere new with people I didn't know. And I didn't speak to anyone the whole night. I am however determined to go again sometime. Maybe next month. Now I know what to expect it might be better. Saturday I was to meet some local mommies at a park. Only one other mom showed up, but it was nice to meet someone else and not too terribly weird. The weather was beautiful and strangely cool for July. Hopefully we can encourage some other mamas to attend next time. X wore me out because he wanted to eat the mulch most of the time we were there.
I guess that is progress. B and I are still trying really hard to not fight and when we do, figure out what we are really upset about instead of bringing everything up like we normaly do. It is work at times but things have been better between us. We still need to work on time with each other and taking time out for ourselves. Friday I went to scrapbook and was gone for about 4-5 hours. Instead of enjoying himself B cleans the house and does laundry. It looks great, but I wish he took time out for himself.
We are still struggling to eat at home and stick to a budget. It is such a struggle. We really need to sort this out. There is so much that we want to do with the house, buy a new car, save for maternity leave in a couple of years and pay off bills and it never fails we seem to get off track.
I am not much closer to any of my goals than I was this time a month ago. I have been trying to stretch myself a little more with mixed results. Friday I went to a scrapbooking crop and I was SO nervous to be somewhere new with people I didn't know. And I didn't speak to anyone the whole night. I am however determined to go again sometime. Maybe next month. Now I know what to expect it might be better. Saturday I was to meet some local mommies at a park. Only one other mom showed up, but it was nice to meet someone else and not too terribly weird. The weather was beautiful and strangely cool for July. Hopefully we can encourage some other mamas to attend next time. X wore me out because he wanted to eat the mulch most of the time we were there.
I guess that is progress. B and I are still trying really hard to not fight and when we do, figure out what we are really upset about instead of bringing everything up like we normaly do. It is work at times but things have been better between us. We still need to work on time with each other and taking time out for ourselves. Friday I went to scrapbook and was gone for about 4-5 hours. Instead of enjoying himself B cleans the house and does laundry. It looks great, but I wish he took time out for himself.
We are still struggling to eat at home and stick to a budget. It is such a struggle. We really need to sort this out. There is so much that we want to do with the house, buy a new car, save for maternity leave in a couple of years and pay off bills and it never fails we seem to get off track.
7.10.2009
If it's not one thing it is something else....
Things at home seem to be going well this week. B and I have not had one arguement. I tried to figure out why and the only thing that I could come up with is we have not watched nearly as much TV. Television is such a time suck. No wonder I am such a slacker / procrastinator.
Work on the other hand has me on edge. Things are weird and there may be the posibility that I may need to start looking for a new job. That prospect is terrifying to me. I have worked at the same place for 6 years. I an comfortable and happy. I hate change!
Work on the other hand has me on edge. Things are weird and there may be the posibility that I may need to start looking for a new job. That prospect is terrifying to me. I have worked at the same place for 6 years. I an comfortable and happy. I hate change!
7.02.2009
My inner rebel
I can't seem to get going. I am exhausted all of the time. Which may have something to do with the fact X has been waking up at 5:30 am EVERY morning for over a week. By the end of the day I am so worn out I resort to caffeine to function, then I can't get to sleep so I have been clocking 4-5 hours a night, maximum. This needs to change.
I know there are things that need to be done. I just don't want to do them. I would rather do something enjoyable or fun. So what do I do? I rebel against myself and don't do what needs to be done. Or I do the bare minimum I need to get by. Some examples of this would be the dishes from dinner still on the table. This may in part be due to the sink so piled with dishes it can't be used (which is B's job and a different post). I walked by those plates a dozen times this evening and they are still sitting there. Or the giant tub of baby bottles that need washed. They started piling up so things snowballed and now nearly every bottle/ pump part is dirty.
I KNOW these things need done, but I tell myself " I don't want to" or it has been a long, hard week and "I deserve the chance to relax." Nothing gets done I get overwhelmed. Why do I do this? I need to do 100 things before we go home this weekend but I really can't find the motivation to do it.
Also I was re- reading my last post and my ideas sound great I just hope I can actually work on those goals this month.
I know there are things that need to be done. I just don't want to do them. I would rather do something enjoyable or fun. So what do I do? I rebel against myself and don't do what needs to be done. Or I do the bare minimum I need to get by. Some examples of this would be the dishes from dinner still on the table. This may in part be due to the sink so piled with dishes it can't be used (which is B's job and a different post). I walked by those plates a dozen times this evening and they are still sitting there. Or the giant tub of baby bottles that need washed. They started piling up so things snowballed and now nearly every bottle/ pump part is dirty.
I KNOW these things need done, but I tell myself " I don't want to" or it has been a long, hard week and "I deserve the chance to relax." Nothing gets done I get overwhelmed. Why do I do this? I need to do 100 things before we go home this weekend but I really can't find the motivation to do it.
Also I was re- reading my last post and my ideas sound great I just hope I can actually work on those goals this month.
6.20.2009
Goals for the next month or so.
So I am still a slacker. I have started about 6 posts and not finished one of them in the last month. I have so many ideas that I would love to get out of my head.
We have had a crazy to weeks. Since my last post B and I came down with a stomach bug. Not pleasant. First time in 12 years that I have thrown up. The Monday after that X started his new daycare.
The new daycare so far is awesome. Everyday not only do they write down when he ate and slept but I get details about what he played with, what toys he liked that day. Getting just a little view into what he was doing during the day gives me so much more peace. X never missed a beat. I was really worried about the transition, but he has just rolled with it and is doing great.
Last weekend my sister and her family came to visit. It is so nice to have visitors. They had not seen the house yet. Though I was glad to have a nice quiet weekend this weekend. X and I did go to a going away party for a co-worker. It was a nice time and I am going to miss S, she was my mommy buddy at work. No one else I am friends with has kids so they don't always "get it".
B and I have really been struggling with the whole division of labor. I feel like I have too much on my shoulders and get overwhelmed. He feels like he does everything. It has been the source of a lot of bad feelings and arguments. It isn't like we live in a house that just has piles and piles of stuff, junk or filth everywhere. You know the kind of thing you see on TV and shake your head in wonder how people could live like that. But there are things that need to be done that if they don't get done make life much more difficult. Getting out of the house in the morning is our greatest challenge.
I have all of these grand ideas of what I want to do and how I want my life to be. I just cant seem to get there. So I am going to try to take this in baby steps.
1) I want to accomplish Something every day. Not the regular bottles/ dinner/ laundry chores but something extra. This might include cleaning bathroom, dusting, de-cluttering. But if I did one thing every day the house would look pretty good.
2) I want to get into better shape. I have a great dislike for sweating. But I could lift weights or do yoga. My goal for July is 2 nights a week.
3) I need to take time for myself. I need to schedule this with B. I need some time to myself. Currently the only alone time I get is grocery shopping, and I don't think that counts. At least a 2 hour stretch a week to do something. Read, scrapbook just something that I like to do.
We have had a crazy to weeks. Since my last post B and I came down with a stomach bug. Not pleasant. First time in 12 years that I have thrown up. The Monday after that X started his new daycare.
The new daycare so far is awesome. Everyday not only do they write down when he ate and slept but I get details about what he played with, what toys he liked that day. Getting just a little view into what he was doing during the day gives me so much more peace. X never missed a beat. I was really worried about the transition, but he has just rolled with it and is doing great.
Last weekend my sister and her family came to visit. It is so nice to have visitors. They had not seen the house yet. Though I was glad to have a nice quiet weekend this weekend. X and I did go to a going away party for a co-worker. It was a nice time and I am going to miss S, she was my mommy buddy at work. No one else I am friends with has kids so they don't always "get it".
B and I have really been struggling with the whole division of labor. I feel like I have too much on my shoulders and get overwhelmed. He feels like he does everything. It has been the source of a lot of bad feelings and arguments. It isn't like we live in a house that just has piles and piles of stuff, junk or filth everywhere. You know the kind of thing you see on TV and shake your head in wonder how people could live like that. But there are things that need to be done that if they don't get done make life much more difficult. Getting out of the house in the morning is our greatest challenge.
I have all of these grand ideas of what I want to do and how I want my life to be. I just cant seem to get there. So I am going to try to take this in baby steps.
1) I want to accomplish Something every day. Not the regular bottles/ dinner/ laundry chores but something extra. This might include cleaning bathroom, dusting, de-cluttering. But if I did one thing every day the house would look pretty good.
2) I want to get into better shape. I have a great dislike for sweating. But I could lift weights or do yoga. My goal for July is 2 nights a week.
3) I need to take time for myself. I need to schedule this with B. I need some time to myself. Currently the only alone time I get is grocery shopping, and I don't think that counts. At least a 2 hour stretch a week to do something. Read, scrapbook just something that I like to do.
6.05.2009
Diaper Update, Goodbye old daycare and weekend plans.
So the Fuzzi Bunz diaper worked great overnight. It did make his bum look like a giant marshmallow, but he stayed dry, even when he joined us in bed to eat at 2:30 AM. We are home with a cold today and using cloth again. I discovered the twist fold and it has made using the pre-folds so much easier.
B took baby X to the daycare today with cards and some homemade blueberry muffins. We are leaving for a number of reasons, but I still am grateful that they did a decent job watching X most of the time. The new daycare has a 1:4 ratio and is about a 10-15 minute walk from work for both B and myself. The thought that I could go and nurse him at lunch once a week, or could go over and volunteer in his class or have lunch with him is awesome. I really think having him so close will make a huge difference. I feel like I spend so little time with him during the week.
So what do I need to do this weekend: clean the house, I really want to get the office put in order so maybe I can work on X's scrapbook. I haven't finished a page in it since he was about 2 months old.
B took baby X to the daycare today with cards and some homemade blueberry muffins. We are leaving for a number of reasons, but I still am grateful that they did a decent job watching X most of the time. The new daycare has a 1:4 ratio and is about a 10-15 minute walk from work for both B and myself. The thought that I could go and nurse him at lunch once a week, or could go over and volunteer in his class or have lunch with him is awesome. I really think having him so close will make a huge difference. I feel like I spend so little time with him during the week.
So what do I need to do this weekend: clean the house, I really want to get the office put in order so maybe I can work on X's scrapbook. I haven't finished a page in it since he was about 2 months old.
6.02.2009
Cloth Diapers- Round 1
So we tried cloth diapering over the last week with mixed results. The first attempt resulted in a very nasty rash. I have still yet to determine if it was caused by the detergent or the wetness. I have a feeling that the Tide didn't get rinsed out. We used them again on Saturday, even though we were at home visiting family. It was really pretty easy. I am in love with the Gro- Baby diapers. They are awesome, though I wish they came in more colors. I did find some new ways to fold the pre-fold diapers that I am itching to try. Sunday X ended up with another rash. The reason I think that it is detergent related is my in-laws washer wasn't spinning properly....so the detergent probably didn't get rinsed out thoroughly. I still need to get a wash routine down. Tonight is the first night in cloth. It is a fuzzi bunz one size. I put 2 inserts in it. His little bum is HUGE in that diaper, so hopefully that means he will stay dry. It is adorable on him.
5.28.2009
Me.
So what is a slacker mom? Me. I lack balance in my life and something gets left out everyday. I slack at something either work, or house work or taking care of myself. I am trying to figure out how to do it all. Not in that super mom conquer the world type way, just how to have a comfortable life where the house isn't a disaster and I manage to get to work on time and actually stay focused on work.
So how does writing a blog help me do this? I need somewhere to be accountable to myself. A place to work out what I am trying, what is work and what isn't. Boring and self centered, probably. However it is cheaper than a therapist.
Are my expectations too unrealistic? As I type this my brand new cloth diapers for my 9 month old are in the wash. Am I crazy to try this with everything else I need to do? In the long run it will save us money if I don't become addicted to buying diapers. It is better for the environment and keeps icky chemicals off of baby X. We will see how it goes.
So how does writing a blog help me do this? I need somewhere to be accountable to myself. A place to work out what I am trying, what is work and what isn't. Boring and self centered, probably. However it is cheaper than a therapist.
Are my expectations too unrealistic? As I type this my brand new cloth diapers for my 9 month old are in the wash. Am I crazy to try this with everything else I need to do? In the long run it will save us money if I don't become addicted to buying diapers. It is better for the environment and keeps icky chemicals off of baby X. We will see how it goes.
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