4.19.2010

Frustration

So after having "symptoms" for over a week I was shocked to discover that I am not pregnant. I spent most of the weekend crying off and on. X spoiled us since we got pregnant right away. I really thought I would be okay if it didn't happen right away, so I am surprised at how depressed all of this has made me. I am usually used to getting my way. I am having a hard time seeing this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to get healthier before I get pregnant. B and I still say we want to start eating better, yet we don't. It will give us more time to save money, because no matter when I have a baby I am going to have to take time off unpaid next time around. I am still unsure if we will try again this month. I ordered some ovulation tests so I know when I ovulate, but we may just use that information to avoid it for the next few months. I am terrified that we will not be able to get pregnant easily.
I know my health/ weight is a huge factor and probably the key. With X I had been working out, we were eating really well and I had lost about 20 lbs that year. I just can't seem to get B on board. He is so stressed and we are both tired and so much of the time picking something up is just much easier than cooking at home.
I am trying to get better this week. I roasted a chicken, made spaghetti sauce, pasta and rice so we have meals ready to go.

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