7.02.2009

My inner rebel

I can't seem to get going. I am exhausted all of the time. Which may have something to do with the fact X has been waking up at 5:30 am EVERY morning for over a week. By the end of the day I am so worn out I resort to caffeine to function, then I can't get to sleep so I have been clocking 4-5 hours a night, maximum. This needs to change.

I know there are things that need to be done. I just don't want to do them. I would rather do something enjoyable or fun. So what do I do? I rebel against myself and don't do what needs to be done. Or I do the bare minimum I need to get by. Some examples of this would be the dishes from dinner still on the table. This may in part be due to the sink so piled with dishes it can't be used (which is B's job and a different post). I walked by those plates a dozen times this evening and they are still sitting there. Or the giant tub of baby bottles that need washed. They started piling up so things snowballed and now nearly every bottle/ pump part is dirty.

I KNOW these things need done, but I tell myself " I don't want to" or it has been a long, hard week and "I deserve the chance to relax." Nothing gets done I get overwhelmed. Why do I do this? I need to do 100 things before we go home this weekend but I really can't find the motivation to do it.

Also I was re- reading my last post and my ideas sound great I just hope I can actually work on those goals this month.

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