6.23.2010

How do I stay focused?

Focus - I struggle with the daily. In the Pixar movie "UP" that we watched recently the dogs in it are often easily distracted by SQUIRRELS.
I often feel the same way. I will be working on one thing and then an idea pops into my head and I work on that and then something distracts me, either a question or a phone call and I take care of that. Then I get another idea and work on that and end up very much off the original task. I struggle daily with staying focused at home and at work. Home is easier most of the time, because there are at least a few things that must be done on a daily basis. Those are feeding and putting X to bed. I am constantly aware of those tasks, because of his presence in the house and the time frame from when we get home to bedtime is only two hours. The other things that need done, like cleaning, will get halfway don and then I start something else. Though at times that something else is sitting on the couch and procrastinating.
At work I have a lot of freedom to set my own experiments and plan my day how I see fit to get my work completed. Generally speaking there are not many hard deadlines on most things. This makes procrastinating very easy. I do get my work accomplished and I do a good job, but often I find myself easily distracted. An example would be currently I need to be analyzing slides, but it is a tedious mindless task that takes a long time so I take frequent (perhaps too frequent) breaks to keep myself from falling asleep or going crazy. I do enjoy my job. I enjoy that I get to do very different things on different days from surgery and tissue collection to histology and data analysis. Often, though I end up doing weeks of one aspect of my job while all others fall to the wayside.

I am really going to try to focus on the task at hand instead of spending time fretting about the laundry and whats for dinner while at work and work while at home. I am pretty good at leaving work at work for the most part (though I will need to do some work this weekend), but as a way to escape everything we have just been coming home and watching movies. Granted with no A/C moving out of the direct line of the fan into the rest of the 87 degree house isn't the best plan. I hope once the air is back on we can start really living in our house again.

6.21.2010

Gratitude




As I was sitting outside this AM eating breakfast because it was so unbearably hot in our sauna, I mean house with a broken AC. I Enjoyed the cooler air and heard the birds chirp as the sun was streaming through the trees. I swear I could see some vapor rising out of the grass as the sun warmed the damp blades. It made me stop an be thankful, for all that I have. I am where I always wanted to be.
So many times in my life I would get frustrated because I knew the goal, but I could not see how we were ever going to get there. I remember wanting a baby and not being entirely sure if we could afford it and feeling like I had to choose between a baby and buying a house. Well we had a baby and then bought a house. Honestly 2 years ago when I was pregnant if anyone had ever told me we would have been able to buy a house when X was 5 months old I would have thought they were crazy; at that point I was wondering how we were going to manage daycare. We have lived in that house for over a year now and sometimes it is frustrating. It is also nice to realize that it is OURS. To paint and re-do and unfortunately repair when it breaks. So in 2 years we have managed to accomplish 2 of our goals and bought a car too. I am thankful for those things. I am also thankful that MIL watches DS for us. This has freed up money we would have been spending on daycare to allow us to be in a better place. Yes the A/c breaking is not great, but the impact something that was THAT expensive having on us 2 or 3 years ago and now is different. I know that we can pay for it. It is nice to be in that place. My future goal is to be in a place where not only can we afford a repair like that, but we can afford to do it in cash. That will be the day I will know we have made it. Like usual, that is in our future, and I can't fully see how to get there.
I need to be grateful for what I have more often, instead of trying to see ahead to the next thing.
What am I grateful for today?
*X said his longest sentence so far "Hi, I Sees Mama!"
*We have a house and a car and everything we need, and also many things we want
*The tiny boy of mine who climbs in our bed every morning with enthusiasm, giggles and "tisses"

6.16.2010

Slacker Mommy take 4 or 5 or 6.

Again I have grand plans for writing the blog to hold myself accountable for all the goals I have in my life, and I never manage to get past start. I think I need to write daily to get into the habit of keeping up with the blog. I have so many areas of interest health, financial, cooking, saving money, decorating, being productive at work, taking care of myself and my family. Having so many things to worry with make it hard to nail down exactly what I want or need to write about. I think for a few weeks I will write what comes to me, and after that, perhaps I will have a schedule of weekly topics that cover the various aspects of my life.
I started this blog because I was tired of feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Here I am 12.5 months later and I am not sure much has changed yet. I still feel like I have more to do than can ever get done and that I spend more time working than I do on all the other parts of my life combined. I have some plans in the works.
1) the house is just about done, hopefully in a few more weeks I will have everything cleaned out and organized and can post some before and after pictures.
2) B and I are training for a 5K. I think I will only be able to walk it, but I really am going to give it my best shot. It is 2 months from now. I want to see how far I can walk on my own right now and then I will come up with a schedule of weekly goals.

The 5K makes me nervous. I am terrified I won't be able to do it, or my lungs won't cooperate. We have decided to give TTC a break for at least a month while I get ready because training for it while pregnant would not be fun. This also scares me. I really thought I would get pregnant right away. I just don't want to still be trying 6 months from now. I am trying to see this as a "it will happen when it's supposed to happen" event. I know in my head that it would be better if I was at a healthier weight, but I really want to know another baby is on the way.